Grant Daniel was stillborn on February 23rd, 2010. He was 4 lbs. 14 oz. and measured 15 1/2". He is named after Brian's dad, Grant Thomas, and my maternal grandfather, Daniel.
From the first detailed ultrasound at 18 weeks, we knew there were complications. In December, I began seeing a specialized team of perinatologists, pediatric cardiologists, and a fetal surgeon. Multiple tests had been performed to diagnose the cause of our baby's condition - chromosomal, viral, and rarer disorders. All the test results came back negative, which left the doctors baffled. It also gave us great hope that the complications would resolve. I was seeing perinatologists at USC almost daily. Then, I had weekly appointments with the fetal surgeon following a fetal surgery in early January where a shunt was placed in Grant's side to remove fluid build-up around his left lung. Following this surgery, we received a very hopeful prognosis. However, in the middle of February, our baby's heart started to decline rapidly. The heart problems became more pronounced each week. The doctor's hope was that Grant would surivive just a few more weeks, furthering in utero development so that he'd be strong enough for heart surgery. I also had excessive amniotic fluid, which was a result of our baby's condition. The excess fluid and weight caused my cervix to thin, so I needed an amnio reduction to relieve the weight. This was scheduled for Tuesday, February 23rd. I went to the doctor's office on Monday for a pre-op exam and found at this time that his heart had stopped beating. (I was aware this might be the case since I hadn't felt Grant move since Sunday afternoon. He was very active and moved constantly because he had lots of fluid to move around in.) Instead of surgery, I was scheduled for an induction. We went in early Tuesday morning. It was a long day. I was given a lot of pitocin and cytotec to help labor. It was an all day process. (According to the nurses and doctor, this was a best case scenario. A lot of still births can take a couple of days for delivery since the baby is not able to help come down the birth canal.) Grant was delivered Tuesday night.
On Monday upon hearing our sad news, Brian's parents left Utah and arrived at the hospital Tuesday afternoon. Tom and Paula were with us throughout the day. Melissa, Brian's sister, had come the week before to help with the girls since I was on bed rest and scheduled for surgery. She waited patiently at home with the girls distracting them by making cookies and playing games. Melissa and the girls arrived at the hospital around 5pm before Grant's delivery. I was grateful that all three girls could also be at the hospital. Elsa and Ava especially wanted to be able to hold Grant. Brian and I felt that this would be an important part of the mourning and healing process.
His body has been transported to Utah and is waiting for the burial which will take place next weekend. We are going to bury him tandem to my mother. It gives us great comfort knowing he will be laid to rest with his grandma.
We are very saddened by this loss. It has been a month, and I still get emotional talking about it and looking at these pictures. We have received so many thoughtful cards, flowers, gifts, emails and phone calls. We have felt so comforted during this experience and have appreciated all the prayers and thoughts in our behalf.
3 comments:
Natalie, I appreciated your posts and admire your courage. I think it's neat how you've documented this difficult time. I love the quilt and all the special memories. I'm grateful to know that you've had peace throughout, but I also know that doesn't make it easy and it will still be hard for a long time. You continue to be in our prayers.
I echo Heidi's sentiments. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I am grateful to know such wonderful people and are grateful for your example and strength.
Natalie, I am so sorry for the loss of Grant. I appreciate your courage to share. You are in our prayers.
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